You made me laugh this morning. My sister and her husband were having Birds Eye pies for tea one night (this was quite some time ago) . When they each cut into their pies, he discovered, to his horror, that there was no filling inside his (sister was fine, and laughing like a drain). He complained to Birds Eye and attached a picture but he did get sent vouchers for free pies. Not sure what he had for dinner that night though.
He was pretty livid but not as much as the time we took the ferry from Newhaven to Dieppe where he bought a huge bottle of vodka. After getting back he picked it up out of the bag in our flat and the bottom fell off the bottle - like somebody had cut it neatly with a saw. He was absolutely speechless. I had to go and cry with laughter in another room at the expression on his face.
Now THIS is the investigative journalism people need in these times! This is genuinely fascinating. In Australia we basically have a supermarket duopoly - Coles and Woolworths and they’re always simultaneously being fined for ripping consumers off AND announcing record profits. I bet there is some nefarious nugget activity going on. I must investigate.
Thank you Sara, grassroots journalism only works with the support of the people. Let me know what's going on with pre-packed chicken down under, I don't doubt that this wretched racket is global.
Glad you enjoyed it, Sam. I'm deeply concerned about the offerings of savoury eggs and mini sausage rolls. Deeply concerned. But I need a month of salad before I go back to that section of the supermarket - eating processed chicken for a week has not been fun!
Thanks Wendy, glad you enjoyed it. There was a point earlier in the week where I was starting to doubt myself that this was actually funny, but it came together in the end.
Real yeoman's work you're putting in here. This is deserving of a wider audience - send this into the Guardian Consumer Affairs correspondent, they love this shit!
Letters to Cleo, are they still around? They were big when I was at university in the early 90s, I even saw them live a couple times (they're from Boston, where I studied). One of their shows they were terrible, the singer (forget her name) was drunk and shouting abuse at the audience.
I'm howling like a hyena laughing my ass off!🤣 Poppergate is the cheekiest investigative exposé I have ever come across since Snowden's NSA leaks. And you got me convinced, I'm going cheap and cheerful!
I have a phobia of beige foods. But nevertheless I came along to this chicken party(gate) and it didn’t didappoint. Clucking all the way to Sainsbury’s.
i once had a ROLO with NO TOFFEE IN THE MIDDLE- no one believed me ... till now?
I believe you Cherry. They're all at it. Rascals far and wide.
validation - finally.
Thank you for doing the Lord's work and exposing this corruption!
I am the voice of the voiceless. Thanks for reading, Lindsey!
You made me laugh this morning. My sister and her husband were having Birds Eye pies for tea one night (this was quite some time ago) . When they each cut into their pies, he discovered, to his horror, that there was no filling inside his (sister was fine, and laughing like a drain). He complained to Birds Eye and attached a picture but he did get sent vouchers for free pies. Not sure what he had for dinner that night though.
Thanks Rosemary, the laughs are why we're all here.
I'd be livid if I got an empty pie. Livid, I tell you!
He was pretty livid but not as much as the time we took the ferry from Newhaven to Dieppe where he bought a huge bottle of vodka. After getting back he picked it up out of the bag in our flat and the bottom fell off the bottle - like somebody had cut it neatly with a saw. He was absolutely speechless. I had to go and cry with laughter in another room at the expression on his face.
Now THIS is the investigative journalism people need in these times! This is genuinely fascinating. In Australia we basically have a supermarket duopoly - Coles and Woolworths and they’re always simultaneously being fined for ripping consumers off AND announcing record profits. I bet there is some nefarious nugget activity going on. I must investigate.
Thank you Sara, grassroots journalism only works with the support of the people. Let me know what's going on with pre-packed chicken down under, I don't doubt that this wretched racket is global.
Been waiting for this exposé and it did not disappoint!
Please do other foods! I'm sure most main chains are ripping us off and they keep putting prices up. Absolute disgrace 🤨
Glad you enjoyed it, Sam. I'm deeply concerned about the offerings of savoury eggs and mini sausage rolls. Deeply concerned. But I need a month of salad before I go back to that section of the supermarket - eating processed chicken for a week has not been fun!
‘Auditing chicken’ ! Well, someone’s got to hold the powers that be to account.
Made me laugh.
Thanks Wendy, glad you enjoyed it. There was a point earlier in the week where I was starting to doubt myself that this was actually funny, but it came together in the end.
Truly, you are the Martin Lewis of Frankenfoods. [wild applause]
Applause warmly received, thank you. Martin Lewis is high praise indeed, especially as I was only really trying to riff on Dave Gorman!
Real yeoman's work you're putting in here. This is deserving of a wider audience - send this into the Guardian Consumer Affairs correspondent, they love this shit!
Letters to Cleo, are they still around? They were big when I was at university in the early 90s, I even saw them live a couple times (they're from Boston, where I studied). One of their shows they were terrible, the singer (forget her name) was drunk and shouting abuse at the audience.
Not sure the Guardianistas are ready for full fat Lewis Holmes.
😆😆
I'm howling like a hyena laughing my ass off!🤣 Poppergate is the cheekiest investigative exposé I have ever come across since Snowden's NSA leaks. And you got me convinced, I'm going cheap and cheerful!
What a wonderfully hilarious read! Thanks!
Thanks for reading, Alex - glad you enjoyed it!
More, more, more! Please! Brilliant post Lewis.
Thank you Jacqui. I'm not sure I'm ready to consume that much beige again, but I do like the idea of sticking it to the man!
Don't worry no more chicken eating required. More posts like that one though please! 😁
Stay on the case. Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks Tamara, it was a fun one to write.
A very entertaining read, but yes, what a cheek to treat customers this way !
Thank you Maureen!
Investigative journalism is so back!!
Took nearly fifty years but I have found my calling.
I have a phobia of beige foods. But nevertheless I came along to this chicken party(gate) and it didn’t didappoint. Clucking all the way to Sainsbury’s.
Thank you for overcoming your beige fears and joining me as I stick it to the elites!
A great piece of writing, especially like the graph - you are not wasting your unemployment! But call me, yes?
Thank you so much, it was a really fun one to bring together. I've pinged you a text.