44 Comments
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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

Hear hear, this might your most gloriously epic rant yet! And well done on using those words, I most certainly spotted them, but that's one helluva tough challenge for regular readers to spot. You've used so many other splendid words, including a couple of my all-time faves: besmirch and incongruous.

I remember discussing, btw, your love of sandwiches and have not forgotten, I want to see that post!

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Thank you amigo! I’m putting some thought into the sandwich rundown.

Daniel O’Donnell's avatar

Skips, Quavers and Mini Cheddars are the devil’s work never mind crisps!

And where the hell was Salt and Vinegar McCoys in the World Cup?! However, these should be properly enjoyed with a can on Irn Bru and before a biscuit and raisin Yorkie, so that may have excluded them

Crisp Surprise, as I call a crisp sandwich, is always a winner. I pretty lived on them when I first left home as I couldn’t afford much else. A 35p loaf and a £1 six pack of Frazzles and that was dinner sorted.

Of course some weeks I couldn’t stretch to the £1 so it was bread surprise for a few days 😁

Lewis Holmes's avatar

I put forward McCoy's S&V but no one else joined me, only the most nominated got through to the tournament proper. Probably for the best, them going out to some bullshit like Skips might've sent me over the edge.

I'm not sure I've ever had that exact trifecta, might give it a whirl. Although do we get some sort of sanitised Irn Bru down here? I think we might.

Crisp sarnies are excellent, full stop!

Francis Turner's avatar

I mentioned S&V too. But it was not to be. S&V is really the only proper crisp flavour

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Delivers on so many different levels. Nice spread of intensity across the various different brands too.

Marci Cornett's avatar

Ooh lovely use of "lubberly" in this post. The phrase "lubberly beeriness" will be pleasantly knocking around my head for days now.

I'm afraid I don't have much to contribute to the crisps conversation as I probably wouldn't eat them at all if I weren't married to an Irishman practically raised on them. But I do appreciate your passion and thoroughness of opinions on the topic!

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Thank you so much! I was quite happy with '“lubberly beeriness”.

Jo Starr's avatar

I miss Beef and Mustard Brannigans, they were epic. And I’m vegetarian.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

A friend and I once spent nearly an hour eulogising over them. They were superb.

Treasure Your Freedoms's avatar

Sat here salivating over the roast ox - that's a proper crisp.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

We used to shift so much roast ox when the Six Nations came to town.

Margaret Bennett's avatar

I’m on your crisp camp Lewis. I love a Twiglet but concede it is not a crisp and you need the potato variety next to a pint.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Thanks Margaret, I knew I wasn't totally shouting into the void on this one.

Lynn Tammadge's avatar

Mini cheddars are definitely not a crisp, they’re a tiny cheese biscuit. Potato crisps, made of potato, isn’t that the thing about a crisp? And you’re right, I’m so disappointed we have so little imagination as a nation, that ready salted have ended up in the final! They are not my people.

Bob Pockney's avatar

Ready Salted is the universal crisp and as such, deserves to win.

Michelle Milliken's avatar

Some real Christopher Nolan stuff with that twist at the end!

(I don't know what any of these snacks are, but one can still appreciate a hate-driven food review.)

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Well, I’ve never been compared to Nolan before. Thank you so much!

Rebecca Harrison's avatar

Really enjoyed this, but you don’t have to give up crisps for your health. Olive oil fried crisps exist and they’re practically salad.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Thank you Rebecca. Can't promise I'll get this aerated every week, but it's a fairly common occurrence nonetheless.

I'm not sure I needed to know about olive oil crisps, could get dangerous after so long away from them.

Francis F's avatar

I know what you mean about the tongue dissolving crisps but I do like quavers, and these crisps are half the calories of the others. Also ready salted is my fav, I missed the vote though, so don’t blame me 😆😆 My favourite used to be cheese and onion ! I think as you get older you change to ready salted. Give it 10 years Lewis and I’ll see a post saying your favourite crisps are ready salted 😂😂

Lewis Holmes's avatar

I will make you a solemn bet right now, Francis: we'll meet up for a drink ten years from now, and I'll get a packet of salt and vinegar to go with my pint. Some things are inevitable.

Robert Machin's avatar

Disappointed to see no mention of Seabrooks. Their Prawn Cocktail and Worcester varieties were great favorites. Real’s ham & mustard pack a wallop…

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Seabrooks are rare as hens’ teeth round my way. Never see them out in the wild.

And yeah, the Real H&M are dead punchy.

Cherry Coombe's avatar

Prawn crackers -

Maureen Susannah's avatar

I have to confess to never having tried a crisp sandwich. I feel I have seriously missed out. A proper crisp sandwich of course.

Swamp Ruby's avatar

We are very different people with very different opinions

Lewis Holmes's avatar

And that's absolutely fine, we're not gonna fall out over Quavers Ruby.

Swamp Ruby's avatar

Worse: I’m afraid I hold general anti-crisp views. But live and let live I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Interesting. I need to know what's going on here, Rubes. Spill the beans.

Julia Benbow's avatar

but skips and quavers are low cal, babe.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Do me a solid please, Julia? Pop them over there in the corner with decaf coffee and lite beer where I don't have to look at them. Cheers, treacle!

Julia Benbow's avatar

Stick ‘em in a sarnie with some sauce.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Come on. Butter + sauce + skips = mush. Pretty sure that's actual science.

Julia Benbow's avatar

Depends how fast you eat them and how many skips you put in.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

Sounds like I should save it for my competitive eating career.

Daniel Puzzo's avatar

I'm thoroughly enjoyed this banter.

Len Hampson's avatar

The reason for the popularity of Walkers Ready Salted in this poll is that they are the "origin story" of crisps. The one from which all others followed and as such all that came after are subsidiary to it. Trust the public on this one.

Lewis Holmes's avatar

First equals best? If that was the case, we'd all driving around in Model Ts. The most popular film on earth would be Roundhay Garden Scene, and I'd be rocking out to the Hurrian Hymn rather than AC/DC. Times change, progress is inevitable. I mentioned nostalgia, and you've only gone and proved me right.

As for trusting the public, Mrs Browns' Boys is wildly popular, Ladbaby was Christmas number one five years on the spin, and Boris Johnson was prime minister. You'll forgive me if I approach the wisdom of the general public with trepidation.

Bob Pockney's avatar

Spot on. For me actually Smiths with the blue bag, (Smiths founded in 1920, newcomer Walkers in 1948) but your point is made.