The queen of faded dreams 🤣🤣🤣 love it. I absolutely feel gutted I didn’t get involved in any of the World Cup. My mum was in hospital and I was visiting daily, exhausting. But my kids watched every game , my son was out snd about in pubs and parks watching. Great story , I felt like I was there with you. 🤣🤣🤣
Excellent work, Holmes!! Hilarious!! 🤣 I could picture all those different people and I loved the reference to The Warriors! The creepy voice... The woman in her boots, Danny de Vito and his bar stools, Metallica #1 and his jokes!!
Thanks so much Helen, I love a good Warriors reference. But please don’t give Metallica #1 too much credit because I’m still not quite over that little display. I don’t go to his manor and showboat.
As I was reading this, I became more and more convinced that this was more about your valiant efforts to not fall asleep in the middle of one of the most exciting games of English football than it was about the game itself! 😅 Just kidding... this was funny. Too funny. It's funny like few ever thought possible. Maybe even the funniest of all time!
And the characters were hilarious: Queen of Faded Dreams, Metallica lads, young Danny DeVito, and that sinister voice, "Cartelssssss".
Honestly, when kick off was pushed back I thought that was me done for. As well as Spiritualised gigs I have fallen asleep in bars, clubs and festivals. But the atmosphere of the game and the cast of characters kept me going all the way through.
I used to power through these things like a T1000. Two hours sleep? No problem. Off to work with a bounce in my step and a grin on my face. By tea time, ready for the next pub session.
Now, nearer 50 than 40, I can make it through the night session but the following day I resemble the undead: not the 28 Days Later/ World War Z modern zombie. No, the classic, lumbering, senseless, reanimated but barely functioning kind.
And I adopt the smell, not just the gait and dead eyes.
I can't think properly, my appetite evaporates. I survive on coffee on junk snacks. Stupidly, I never try to balance the excess by going to bed earlier the next night - that sounds too much like capitulation.
Invariably, this leads to the effects spilling into day three. Dialled down a bit, but I'm still not in fighting form.
It's a good job these World Cups only come once every four years. I suspect they are knocking years off my life. But if we win it... it will have been worth it.
I felt like death the next day. I got 24 hour narcolepsy, dropping off to sleep sporadically throughout the day. My appetite was all over the place. I was intensely thirsty; think I drank about six litres of water.
It was totally worth it, what a game. Just got to stop the Viking Row now.
And we have to stop it with players dropping like flies, it appears.
Rice has a bug, is being isolated and cannot train, Guehi is nursing a hamstring worry picked up against Mexico, Quansah has been inexplicably given his own one match ban and had Balogun's ban added on for good measure, meaning he is ineligible until the final (should we make it).
Reece james is training again, but appears to be made of glass so who knows if he can manage 90 mins against a marauding 2m viking?
The decision not to take Trent looks weirder by the day.
I suppose it wouldn't be England without a bit of drama.
Dudeee. I love every bit of this. The thought of being up at that time makes me want to cry, but then again here I am up at 4:19 am for no reason, reading your story.
So good. You put us right there with you.
I would’ve loved the Metallica kids lol.
Thanks for taking one for the team. Would you do it again, though? 🤣
Gracias, GC! At halftime Hank turned to me and said "You're gonna write about this, aren't you?" Absolutely right.
I would do it again but I genuinely don't think the next time would be as much fun. There's no fucking way all of those wonderful elements would come together a second time.
The queen of faded dreams 🤣🤣🤣 love it. I absolutely feel gutted I didn’t get involved in any of the World Cup. My mum was in hospital and I was visiting daily, exhausting. But my kids watched every game , my son was out snd about in pubs and parks watching. Great story , I felt like I was there with you. 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you Francis! Hope your mum is on the mend.
Excellent work, Holmes!! Hilarious!! 🤣 I could picture all those different people and I loved the reference to The Warriors! The creepy voice... The woman in her boots, Danny de Vito and his bar stools, Metallica #1 and his jokes!!
Thanks so much Helen, I love a good Warriors reference. But please don’t give Metallica #1 too much credit because I’m still not quite over that little display. I don’t go to his manor and showboat.
OK, “Half an hour before kick off, The Queen of Faded Dreams walked in.” Slayed me 🤣
Haha, she was a right character!
As I was reading this, I became more and more convinced that this was more about your valiant efforts to not fall asleep in the middle of one of the most exciting games of English football than it was about the game itself! 😅 Just kidding... this was funny. Too funny. It's funny like few ever thought possible. Maybe even the funniest of all time!
And the characters were hilarious: Queen of Faded Dreams, Metallica lads, young Danny DeVito, and that sinister voice, "Cartelssssss".
Absolute gold. Thanks a bunch!
No no, that *you* for reading, Alex!
Honestly, when kick off was pushed back I thought that was me done for. As well as Spiritualised gigs I have fallen asleep in bars, clubs and festivals. But the atmosphere of the game and the cast of characters kept me going all the way through.
Great read :)
How did you feel the next day?
I used to power through these things like a T1000. Two hours sleep? No problem. Off to work with a bounce in my step and a grin on my face. By tea time, ready for the next pub session.
Now, nearer 50 than 40, I can make it through the night session but the following day I resemble the undead: not the 28 Days Later/ World War Z modern zombie. No, the classic, lumbering, senseless, reanimated but barely functioning kind.
And I adopt the smell, not just the gait and dead eyes.
I can't think properly, my appetite evaporates. I survive on coffee on junk snacks. Stupidly, I never try to balance the excess by going to bed earlier the next night - that sounds too much like capitulation.
Invariably, this leads to the effects spilling into day three. Dialled down a bit, but I'm still not in fighting form.
It's a good job these World Cups only come once every four years. I suspect they are knocking years off my life. But if we win it... it will have been worth it.
Thanks Christian.
I felt like death the next day. I got 24 hour narcolepsy, dropping off to sleep sporadically throughout the day. My appetite was all over the place. I was intensely thirsty; think I drank about six litres of water.
It was totally worth it, what a game. Just got to stop the Viking Row now.
And we have to stop it with players dropping like flies, it appears.
Rice has a bug, is being isolated and cannot train, Guehi is nursing a hamstring worry picked up against Mexico, Quansah has been inexplicably given his own one match ban and had Balogun's ban added on for good measure, meaning he is ineligible until the final (should we make it).
Reece james is training again, but appears to be made of glass so who knows if he can manage 90 mins against a marauding 2m viking?
The decision not to take Trent looks weirder by the day.
I suppose it wouldn't be England without a bit of drama.
I can't believe we haven't got the King on the blower to Infantino over Quansah. That is clearly the way these things are done now.
I think we'll need to win midfield. Not necessarily stop Haaland, but cut off his supply. Elliot Anderson is going to be busy.
Rumour has it that the ban was doubled BECAUSE Keir Starmer rang Infantino.
Next time, we'll ask Binface.
I am so gutted I missed it but you’ve captured the atmosphere for me here. How do you feel about Saturday ?
Saturday won't be easy at all. All about midfield, got to starve Haaland of service. If our midfield can keep Odergaard schtum we'll be okay.
Harry Kane, of course, will have his hands full with Brentford's very own Kristoffer Ajer. Big Kris is a man mountain.
Dudeee. I love every bit of this. The thought of being up at that time makes me want to cry, but then again here I am up at 4:19 am for no reason, reading your story.
So good. You put us right there with you.
I would’ve loved the Metallica kids lol.
Thanks for taking one for the team. Would you do it again, though? 🤣
Gracias, GC! At halftime Hank turned to me and said "You're gonna write about this, aren't you?" Absolutely right.
I would do it again but I genuinely don't think the next time would be as much fun. There's no fucking way all of those wonderful elements would come together a second time.
Hank is a good friend ❤️
He's one of the very best.